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Pacific Rural Press, Vol. 19, Jan.-June 1880
Date:1880
Pacific Rural Press, Vol. 19, Jan.-June 1880
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Title:Pacific Rural Press, Vol. 19, Jan.-June 1880
Volume:19
Sponsor:California State Library Califa/LSTA Grant
Tags:californiastatelibrary, americana
Notes:No copyright page found. No table-of-contents pages found.Text obscured by binding in original
Contributor:California State Library
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January 24, 1880.] £ PACIFIC BUBAL PBESS. 5* Chaff. Have you ground all your tools, as I told you this morning I said a carpenter to his ap prentice. All but the saw, sir; I couldnt get quite all the gaps out of that. Lady: How much is this a yard ? Clerk: Fourteen and sixpence. It is an elegant ma terial - double; it can be worn both sides. If you tear one side youve only to turu it on the other. The just published report of an Irish benevolent society says: Notwithstanding the large amount paid for medicine and medical attendance, very few deaths occurred during the year. Wife (to her husband, who is eating a juicy roast with great relish) - For heavens sake, we have both forgotten that this is a fast day ! Husband (sulkily) - You might have waited at least till I was through. The subject of conversation at an evening entertainment was the intelligence of animals, particularly of dogs. Says Smith: There are dogs that have more sense than their masters. Just so, responded young Fitznoodle. Ive got that very kind of a dog myself. No, exclaimed Mr. Penhecker, No, Madam, I object most decidedly. Once and for all I say it - the girls shall not be taught foreign languages. And why not, pray, said Mrs. P., with withering sarcasm. Because, said P., with more withering sarcasm, because, Mrs. P., one tongue is enough for any woman ! Mrs. Penhecker responded not. - Judy. Honesty the Best Policy. - Country practitioner (surprised at the visit of a notorious quack and pill- vender): Well! What brings you here ? Quack (evidently suffering from disturbed peristaltic action): Well, sir, the fact is, I feel rather queer, and . Country practitioner: Then why dont you take one of your Pearls of Health ? Quack: Thats just it, sir I I think Ive swallowed one - by mistake ! - Punch. A boy in the wild West who for the first time in his life saw a military company out for a drill with fife and drum, gave his mother the following account of the business: A little man blowed on his squealin stick, and a big man that stood beside him hammered on his thunder box, then the boss man pulled out a big, long knife and shook it at the fellers what was standin up in a long row, and they all walked off on two legs. Domestic Meteorology. - A gentleman lately kept the following meteorological journal of his wifes temper - Monday, rather cloudy; in the afternoon, rainy. Tuesday, vaporish; brightened up a little towards evening. Wednesday, changeable, gloomy, inclined to rain. Thursday, high wind, and some peals of thunder. Friday, fair in the morning, variable till afternoon, cloudy all night. Saturday, gentle breeze, hazy, a thick fog, and a few flashes of lightning. Sunday, tempestous and rainy; towards evening somewhat calmer. How Long We Are to Live. It is not everyone who asks himself this question, because, strangely enough, it is the belief of many persons that their lives will be exceptionally lengthy. However, life assurance companies are aware of the credulous weakness of those whose lives they assure, and have therefore compiled numerous tables of expectancy of life for their own guidance, which are carefully referred to before a policy is granted. The following is one of these well-authenticated tables, in use among London assurance companies, showing the expectancy of life at various ages. In the first column we have the present ages of persons of average health ; and in the second column we are enabled to peep, as it were, behind the scenes of an assurance office, and gather from its table the number of years it will give us to live. This table has been the result of careful calculation, and seldom proves misleading. Of course, sudden and premature deaths, as well as lives unusually extended, occasionally occur; but this is a table of average expectancy of life of an ordinary mau or woman : Age. I... 10.. 20.. 40. More yrs. to live. 39 51 41 84 40 Acre. 60. . . 60... 70... More yrs. to live. 21 14 9 4 Our readers will easily gather from the above tabulated statement the number of years to which their lives, according to the law of averages, may reasonably be expected to extend. The Hands. - In order to preserve the hands soft and white, they should always be washed in warm water, with fine soap, and carefully dried with a moderately coarse towel, being well rubbed every time to insure a brisk circulation, than which nothing can be more effectual in promoting a transparent and soft surface. If engaged in any accidental pursuit which may hurt the color of the hands, or if they have been exposed to the sun, a little lemon juice will restore their whiteness for the time; and lemon soap is proper to wash them with. Almond paste is of essential service in preserving the delicacy of the hands. The following is a serviceable pomade for rubbing the Bands on retiring to rest: Take two ounces of sweet almonds; beat with three drachms of white wax, and three drachms of spermaceti; put up carefully in rose water. Gloves should always be worn on exposure to the atmosphere, and are graceful at all times for a lady in the house, except at meals. Y©^q F QLk s CohJjmn. Our Puzzle Box. Numerical Enigma. I am composed of twenty-seven letters. My 8, 19, 24 is an enemy. My 6, 15, 6 is an intoxicant. My 9, 26, 1, 16. 2 is an animal. My 21, 10, 17, 27 is terror. My 11, 3 is an exclamation. My 18, 7, 14 is delight. My 10, 25, 10, 23 is eternity. My 20, 22, 12 is yourself. My 4, 13 is a thing or inanimate object. My whole is an oft quoted declaration. Uncle Claude. Word Puzzle. Whole, I am an article of commerce; take away one-fifth and I am a period of time; transpose me, omitting one letter, and I am a part of a building; transpose me again, omitting my second letter, and I am an entire building; take two-fifths of me away, and I am to ceass to be; again take away two-fifths, and I signify concealed. Decapitations. 1. Behead a noise and leave a disease; again, and leave a tree. 2. Behead to increase and leave a spring; again, and ieave a measure. 3. Behead value and leave a grain; again, and leave a congealed fluid. 4. Behead to seize and leave a file; again, and leave a serpent. Jamrs. Charade. My first youll very often meet, In every town and village street; My second, too, on every hand; My wholes a fruit from foreign land. Jerry. Curtailments. 1. Curtail an English nobleman and leave a part of the head. 2. Curtail a storehouse for grain and leave a rod. 3. Curtail to rend asunder and leave a Chinese plant. 4. Curtail a mineral and leave a mythological bird. 5. Curtail a fortified place and leave in place of. Melanothon. Answers to Last Puzzles. Cross-Word Enigma- Ossification. Decapitations - 1. Tabard, a bard. 2. Sturk, Turk. 3. Sewer, ewer. 4. Swindle, windle. 5. Morion, Orion. Degrees of Comparison - 1. Sauce, saucer, sorceress. 2. Pea, pier, peeress. 3. On, honor, honest. 4. Mole, molar, molest. 6. Seal, selah, Celeste. 6. Bud, Buddha, Buddhist. Word Square- HOOD OHIO OILS DOSE Fraction Puzzle- Washington. • Idle Boy. Nobody loves me but Jack and Jenny, said idle Billy Doolittle. I wish I was a donkey, then mother might call me all day to bring in oven wood, and I should not hear. I dont like to work nor get lessons, and I guess I wont much more. Jack and Jen and I will go down to the turnip field and make us a house snug under the fence, and eat turnips, wont we, Jack ? Ill make me some big long ears out of brown paper and tie on, and when father comes after me, Ill just get down on my hands and feet and eat turnip tops, and he will think there are three donkeys of us, and I am gone off. Thats an ugly old lesson, anyway, thptMiss Walker gave me. She says I wont be a man if I dont study my lessons, and Im sure I dont want to. Whats the use of being a man and working like sixty, and have to smoke an old dirty pipe 1 I would twice rather be a donkey and eat turnip tops. Miss Walter was near and saw Billy throw down his books, and heard every word he said to his pets. By and by the little fellow fell fast asleep, and she took him in her arms and carried him to the house and put him in his trundle bed. The next day she told him she would give him no more lessons; she thought it would be better for him to be a donkey, and have paper ears, and eat turnip tops, than to live in a nice house and have a good father and mother. Billys bright brown eyes opened wide, and a smile crept into his face, and he said: O did you hear me dream about that ? 1 thought I was a donkey, and had great paper ears, and Jack and Jenny and I had such a nice time down in the turnip patch. Then Miss Walker told him that in Mexico, and some other countries where there are no roads, the poor donkeys had to carry heavy burdens for many miles over the mountains. Sometimes. they are so packed with wood that you cannot see much of the poor animal but his ears. The narrow path is very steep and rocky, and if a misstep is made he may tumble down the mountain and never get up again. So he must travel day after day and get only kicks and cuffs, and not as much as turnip tops to eat. Billy looked very sober as Miss Walker stopped talking, and said: I guess I was only in fun when I dreamed; and if you are willing I would much rather get a lesson than be a donkey and get beaten. A Parlor Game. - Logomachy is the title of a game that will probably become popular, especially in families where children are attending school and have acquired some knowledge of language. It is played with 56 cards, on each one of which is printed a letter of the alphabet. Each player receives a number of the cards and a certain number are laid on the table. The players take turns in building words with the cards, using the cards on the table, and those taken by the previous players with[the addition of one from his own hand. The player has the right to take in aa a trick all the cards he can properly utilize in thus building a word The game is a fine mental exercise both as to spelling and developing ingenuity, and it can hardly be played without keeping the dictionary in constant circulation. Marvels of Man. ^ While the gastric juice has a mild, bland, sweetish taste, it possesses the power of dissolving the hardest food that can be swallowed; it has no influence whatever on the soft and delicate fibers of the living stomach, nor upon the living hand, but, at the moment of death it begins to eat them away with the power of the strongest acids. There is dust on sea, on land; in the valley, and on the mountain-top; there is dust always and everywhere; the atmosphere is full of it; it penetrates the noisome dungeon, and visits the deepest, darkest caves of the earth; no palace- door can shut it out, no drawer so secret as to escape its presence; every breath of wind dashes it upon the open eye, and yet that eye is not blinded, because there is a fountain of the blandest fluid in nature incessantly emptying itself under the eyelid, which spreads it over the surface of the ball at every winking and washes every atom of dust away. But this liquid, so mild, and so well adapted to the eye itself, has some acridity, which, under certain circumstances, becomes so decided as to be scalding to the skin, and would rot away the eyelids were it not that along the edges of them there are little oil manufactories, which spread over their surface a coating as impervious to the liquids necessary for keeping the eye-ball washed clean, as the best varnish is impervious to water. The breath which leaves the lungs has been so perfectly divested of its life-giving properties, that to re-breathe it, unmixed with other air, the moment it escapes from the mouth, would cause immediate death by suffocation, while if it hovered about us, a more or less destructive influence over health and life would be occasioned; but it is made of a nature so much lighter than the common air.that the instant it escapes the lips and nostrils, it ascends to the higher regions above the breathing-point, there to be rectified, renovated and sent back again, replete with purity* and life. How rapidly it ascends, is beautifully exhibited any frosty morning. But foul and deadly as the expired air is, Nature, wisely economical in all her works and ways, turns it to good account in its outward passage through the organs of voice, and makes of it the whisper of love, the soft words of affection, the tender tones of human sympathy, the sweetest strains of ravishing music, the persuasive eloquence of the finished orator. If a well-made man be extended on the ground, his arms at right angles with the body, a circle, making the navel its center, will just take in the head, the finger-ends and feet. The distance from top to toe is precisely the same as that between the tips of the fingers when the arms are extended. The length of the body is just six times that of the foot; while the distance from the edge of the hair on the forehead to the end of the chin, is one tenth the length of the whole stature. Of the sixty-two primary elements known in nature, only eighteen are found in the human body, and of these, seven are metallic. Iron is found in the blood; phosphorus in the brain; limestone in the bile; lime in the bones, dust and ashes in all. - Journal of Health. Antidotes to Dyspepsia. - Sleep will do a great deal to restore the tone of the stomach where dyspepsia results, as it often does, from overwork. Stout people, who have it from overeating, should work out of doors, accustoming themselves to hearty work by degrees. The prescription given by an old physician to allovi- ate dyspepsia, is to drink half a cupful of boiled water, just as hot as one can swallow it, half an hour before each meal, and I have known it to give great relief. The hot water stimulates the energies of the stomach and dilutes the acrid juices which it secretes. A wet cloth, cold or hot, as feels best, worn on the stomach will greatly strengthen it. If the food is carefully selected to suit a weak digestion, dyspepsia will cure itself. Strong chicken broth, without a particle of fat, may often be taken when other things irritate. Raw beef, very finely minced, like meal, and set in a covered saucer in a hot oven until it becomes pink, not brown, can be taken by the worst dyspeptics. White of egg beaten to a froth, or a spoonful of whipped cream, often will not offend. Dyspeptics should eat sparingly, a spoonful once in an hour or two, rather than attempt a small meal three times a day. Bits of ice, swallowed whole, and frozen cream often relish. But the cream should be entirely without sugar. A bit of licorice or parched dandelion root, or cherry bark, chewed and kept in the mouth, strengthens the digestion sensibly. - Toledo Blade. A Simple Life-Preserver. - It is not generally known that, when a person falls into the water, a common felt hat can be made use of as a life-preserver. By placing the hat upon the water, rim down, with the arm around it pressing it slightly to the breast, it will bear a man tp for hours. estic Economy. Hard versus Soft Water.- Dr. Tidy, an English chemist, gives, in the London Medical Examiner, the results of his observations on the use of hard water for culinary and domestic purposes: 1. Hard water is the best dietetically, because of the lime. 2. It makes better tea, although not so dark colored, owing to the fact that soft water dissolves the bitter extractive matters which color the tea, but ruins the aroma. 3. It relieves thirst, which soft water does not. 4. It does not dissolve lead or organic matter, which soft water does. 5. It is generally good colored, soft water being, as a rule, dark colored and unpleasant looking; hence, in places like Manchester, supplied witli soft water, they always put it (in hotels) in dark bottles, to hide the color. A soft water, however, is a better detergent, and requires less soap. For a residential town a water which lias over 10 J of hardness would be best. For a manufacturing town a soft water would be the most advisable, for commercial considerations only. Fritters. - Peel and core three large apples; then cut them across in slices rather less than half an inch thick; put them in a flat dish with half a tumbler of brandy or sherry and strew plenty of powdered sugar over them. Let them remain covered for a couple of hours, then take each piece separately, dip it in batter so that it is well covered with it. and fry a golden color in plenty of hot lard. Lay the fritters in front of the fire, and when all are done pile them up on a napkin, shake plenty of powdered loaf sugar over them, and serve. A very delicate batter is made thus: Beat up one tablespoonful of brandy, one of pure fresh olive oil and a little cold water, with the yolk of one egg; add a pinch of salt, then work in sufficient flour to make with the addition of more water, as much batter as will be wanted. It should be of the consistency of thick cream, .fust before using, whisk the whites of two eggs to a froth and mix them lightly but effectually with the batter. Snowden Puduino. - Prepare one pound of sponge-cake batter in the following manner, to be baked in a thin sheet: To one pound of eggs (weigh in the shell), put one pound of pulverized white sugar and ten ounces of flour. Flavor with the juice and grated rind of a fresh lemon, or if that is not accessible, a teaspoonful of pure extract of lemon. When baked, and while hot, spread over the cake a layer of some nice preserves, strawberry or raspberry jam being specially nice for the purpose. Make it into a roll as neatly as possible, and strew with powdered sugar. Serve with sweet sauce. Cranberry Dumplino. - One quart of flour, one teaspoonful of soda and two teaspoonfuls of cream of tartar sifted together. Mix into a soft dough with sweet milk; roll the dough out very thin in oblong shapes, and spread over it one quart of cranberries picked and washed clean. Add half a pound of sugar sprinkled over evenly. Fold over and over, and then tie in a pudding-cloth and put into a steamer, where let it cook over a steady fire for an hour, with faith, never looking into the pot. Serve with sweet wine sauce or sugar and cream. Apple Cheese. - Peel and quarter a quantity of apples, stew them with a little water, a good deal of sugar, the thin rind of a lemon and a few cloves, or a stick of cinnamon. When quite done pass them through a hair sieve; and to one quart of the puree thus obtained add half a packet of gelatine, dissolved in water; mix well, pour into a mold, and when set, turn it out and serve with a custard poured about it. It is well to remember that the puree must be thoroughly well sweetened and flavored to carry off the insipidity of gelatine. Bread-and-Butter Puduino. - Mako a batter of five eggs and a pint of milk; add a little salt before the eggs are put in. Have several slices of bread about as thick as for toasting and spread butter thickly on them. Butter a pudding dish, and put in a layer of bread and butter, then raisins and currants, and another layer of bread and butter until the dish is nearly thrco-quarters full. Flavor the batter with nutmeg; pour over and bake. Bath Buns. - Half an ounce of German yeast made into a sponge aa for plain buns; half a pound of flour and a quarter of a pound of butter; mix the whole lightly together with six yolks of eggs and a little milk. When proved and ready, work in a quarter of a pound of rough broken loaf sugar; lay them out on a buttered baking sheet in the shape of a rock, put a few comlits on the top of each, and bake in a sharp oven. Oranoe Snowballs. - Boil some rice for ten minutes; drain and let cool; paro some oranges, taking off the thick, white skin; spread the rioe in as many portions as there aro oranges on pudding or dumpling cloths; tie the fruit (surrounded by tho rice) separately in these and boil for an hour; turn out carefully on a dish: sprinklo with plenty of sifted sugar; serve with sauce or sweet cream. To Remove Old Paint. - Slake three pounds of stone quicklime in water, and add one pound American pearlash, making fhe whole into the consistence of paint. Lay over the old work with a brush, and let it remain for from 12 to 14 honrs, when the paint is easily scraped off.
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