I can relate to what you are going through. My sons father was also adopted and passed away when my son was 10yrs old. My sons father never had an urge to find his birth parents, but I always wanted to know. My son is now 21yrs old and could find out if he wanted to, but he doesnt want to either.
My current husband is also adopted and does not want to find his birth parents and is very bitter about being adopted.
I was adopted and in most cases the folders are sealed at birth. I went to the archives of the records department of the area of where I was born and looked to see who was born on my date of birth. There was a girl born on that date with my first name and I went from there. Also at adoption agencies there is a "Looking for lost sibbling form" your son's father could fill out and hopefully someone in his biological family has filled one out and they can connect the two. I did this and found all my fam.
Thank you for replying to my message and your suggestion... the problem is that we don't have co-operation from my sons father... he feels quite bitter toward his birth parents for putting him up for adoption and doesn't want to find out any information about them.
Do you know if there's a way to find out without him being involved?
Julie, If you are not married to him then I don't think you can follow thru with this, Unless you, as your son's guardian , goes to the adoption office and signs one of those looking for lost sibblings and family forms on his (son's) behalf. Also ask the person at the adoption agency how you can get medical records for your son's sake. You probably won't get results there but they could let you know from there what you can and cannot do. As for your son's father being mad at them for giving him up, He needs to realize that sometimes that may have been for the best, In my case it wasn't but it wasn't good to stay with them either, I did however get the information I needed for medical purposes and DID find more half brothers and sisters that I never knew I had and a few of those meetings have resulted in a great friendship.
I am pretty sure that adoption records in the UK have been unsealed, and are available for the asking. If your children's birth certificates have the adoptee's name on it as their father, then I would imagine you have pretty good legal standing to get the information.
Here is a link to OPSI - Office of Public Sector Information, Adoption and Children Act of 2002: