The upcoming events on the right of the main page only shows b'days and anniversary.
It would be great if it there is an option to highlight a person's death anniversary as well for them to be remembered. But instead, it shows the b'day of the person who has been dead.
What you request is already supported. Go to the settings section of your family site, and visit the Calendar settings page. Switch to Advanced mode (in right-hand side of the page). There you can configure whether to have death anniversaries in your calendar; and whether to have birthday and anniversary events or not.
Probably it would be better to set up the callendar events manually - somebody wants to see only b'days, somebody wants to see all events, somebody only DODs and so on...
The settings on my calender section is as you have mentioned. However, it still shows the b'day of the deceased on the right where the "upcoming events" section is. I think it should instead show the death anniversary of that particular person.